Stories From Kiribati

Grandpa was fixing his motorbike. He needed a star to remove some screws but wasn’t among his tools. He looked around and saw his 8 year old grandson. He called and asked him, “Tata, I need a star. Please go and borrow it from our neighbour.”

Tata worried that sooner or later he would forget the name of the tool, so he thought of a way that will help him not forget. Luckily he remembered his favourite song at school ‘Twinkle twinkle little star’...

Tom is in Grade 1. He doesn't lIke going to school. Today he decides not to go to school again so he needs a good excuse.

Mother:- It's time to go to school. Hurry up!

Tom:- Mom, I'm not going to school today. I think I'm sick.

Mother (rather angry):- What's wrong? Head ache? Tooth ache? Stomach ache?

Tom (in a sick voice):- No. It's Saliva ache.

Teacher: Do you know what 'octo' means?

Children: Eight.

Teacher: Good! Please give few examples.

Children: Octopus, octagon, .... (thinking of more examples).

Teacher: October, 8th month of the year.

Children: ..... true??

Teacher: Yes! Okay, let's say the months and we count with our fingers.

Children & Teacher: 1Jan, 2 Feb, 3 Mar, 4 Apr, 5 May, 6 Jun, 7 Jul, 8 A...

A village missionary conducted a religion interview exam to Grade 1 children in a primary school.

It was time for Tom, so the boy walked slowly to the missionary. Tom and the missionary now sat at the table facing each other.

The interview exam began:

Missionary:- Name the disease our Lord cured when he was on earth.

(Tom thought and thought. He looked side to side, up and down. Then he saw the ringworm on the missionary's hand)

Tom:- RINGWORM!

A father was beating his son - an attempt to stop him from acting like a girl. After several beatings, the father asked, “Are you a boy or a girl?”

The son replied crying, “Dad, I am a girl”

“No no! This time I will tie and put you at the corner of the house for hours!” said the father. And he did what he said. Later, he came back with the same question, “Are you a boy or a girl?”

“Dad, I am a girl” c...

Two men were having a friendly conversation. Around them sat several women. One of the men then noticed that his friend’s willy (penis) could be seen clearly from under his lavalava.

The women saw the man’s willy so they stopped listening and began laughing.

“Oh, no! Women laugh at my friend’s willy. How do I secretly let him know?” thought the man. He stopped listening, looked down then up and even tapped his fingers.

The event below did happen on one of the outer islands.

A young Kiribati man approached a Peace Corp Volunteer (lady) who was buying something at the village store. Though the man knew very little English, he said to the lady, “I love you”. Surprised of what she just heard, the lady looked at the man with puzzle eyes.

Knowing that she still listened, the young man continued, “Yes, wherever you go, I go”

Before she coul...

After staring at the dish in front of him, the customer asked the waiter about the food. Instead of speaking, the waiter replied with a sound, “Cock-a-doodle-doo”

The customer (who had been studying animal bones for years) shook his head and out of his mouth came, “Meow meow”

Ruuka was an alcoholic who used to steal things and exchanged them for his wine.

One dark night while his parents were fast asleep, he quietly untied their mosquito net, and then left to the nearby local bar.

Soon, the father woke up from the mosquitoes bites. He woke his wife to check the net was properly placed over them. The wife stretched out her arms. Nothing happened. She swung her arms around, then in circles but nothing happened. Finally, she stood up slowly hoping to feel...

Ruuka was an alcoholic who used to steal things and exchanged them for wine. 

In one occasion (family feast), he was asked by his mother to kill the pig. After killing, cutting up and cleaning, he hid one of the pig’s legs under the small bush. Then he brought the meat home to his mother.

“Hey! Ruuka, where is the other leg? The fourth one?” asked the mother.

“Mother! Are you saying that your pig has four legs when all pigs have only three?̶...